It's Sad...

...that digital cameras weren't really around yet back in 2001. That I didn't really get into photography until January 2001 when my world crashed (for not only 1 but 2 really BIG life-changing events) and I bought my first "real" camera as a distraction. Because most pictures of my dad are just that. Pictures. No digital files. Not even any negatives (without digging for hours through tons of little plastic negative holders.) So, I'm left with either scanning worn-out photos or taking a digital picture of a photo and trying my best to work some Photoshop magic.

I think of my dad every day. I'm always thinking of how proud of me he'd be. How shocked he'd be that I actually had a child - this amazing little boy that resembles his Grandpa Jeff more and more each day. I think about all the furniture he'd want to make for my new house. I think about how much better my car would run if he could have maintained it all these years for me, rather than the 15-minute jobs I get about every 4 months at Meineke. (No offense, Lenny has treated me pretty well over the years.) I think about how different my world would be if he were still here.

So, Father's Day. It's a very mixed-emotions day for me. On one hand, I'm sad that I can't go to the store and pick out the perfect Father's Day card then search for his 127th tie or popcorn tin or remote caddy or some random "dad" gift he'd cherish forever, then be able to hand it to him and get one of his huge hugs and a wink.

And, on the other hand, I have this amazing father-in-law who loves me. I mean, really loves me. And not just for his son's sake. He treats me like a daughter. He cares about me. He makes sure his son is treating me right. He takes care of my son and loves him (and all of his grandchildren) with everything he's got. It's an honor to honor him on Father's Day.


Then, on the other, other hand, there's the father of my child. My sweet husband, Donnie. He's such a good dad. He does all the things I can't do. He has the energy and child-like mind to play with our son when I've just had enough. He likes to get dirty and touch bugs and swim when I just don't want to. He can handle the full-blown, make-you-want-to-break-something tantrums that send me into a corner crying myself. He loves MD so, so much and it too is an honor to honor him on Father's Day.

So, Happy Father's Day (yesterday) Dad, Dad-in-law (Papa) and Daddy. My life just wouldn't be complete without each of you.

My "Most Beautiful" 2 & 3 Year-Old

He won! Michael Dean was voted "Most Beautiful 2 & 3 Year-Old" in the contest/fundraiser for Charlotte's Most Photogenic Babies of 2010.

In case you missed it, I posted here about a photo contest we entered Michael Dean in a few weeks ago. It was also a fundraiser for the Levine Children's Hospital. All-in-all the organizaton raised over $10,000 for the hospital! Thanks to everyone who contributed in Michael Dean's honor.

Unfortunately, we weren't able to go to the awards ceremony. We had a really great reason, though...Donnie was ordained at our church this past Sunday at the same time the awards ceremony took place. So, a sweet friend of ours (Liz) went for us and accepted MD's trophy for him. (You'll see her here about 9 rows up from the bottom accepting her, I mean MD's trophy!)

(Donnie at our church's groundbreaking service)

Congrats, my sweet little "beautiful" boy!

You can see all the winners (including MD) here - www.photogenicbaby.com/winners/charlottewinners.html.

Words from my Courageous Sis-in-law...

"My last "Spa" treatment at NEMC. I thought in January that June was forever away. I never thought that I would be able to hold up and endure 8 rounds of TOXIC chemotherapy. I hope that my story gives hope to those that are facing the same giant as I have faced. I also hope that I have inspired others to reflect and strengthen their faith in God.

Most people would believe that given the news that you have Stage 4 cancer is probably your death sentence. I was blessed to be surrounded and carried by the BEST of friends, my family, communities both in which I live, and those that had heard my story. On most weeks, I was unable to see the light at the end, so thanks everyone for taking a turn carrying me until the next person was there with open arms and strong shoulders.

Of most importance, I hope that now people are able to see that God still works miracles everyday. We think about the miracles that Jesus performed, in God's name, in the Bible, but friends... Open your eyes because he is still performing miracles everyday. My faith and trust in God has helped me to be at peace and given me strength to fight Cancer. My hope now is that people who know me will see God working through me as I try to be a testament to him. Reflect on these words as I have during my day-to-day struggle to be strong: When you trust God, you are never alone. Every minute of every day, He is by your side, helping you find your way, wanting good things for you. When you trust God, you're truly understood. He knows you better than you know yourself - your strengths and weaknesses, all your beautiful possibilities. When you trust God, you're loved with a love that can lift you above anything you face in life. It is a love unlike any other, you can hope without end when you completely trust God and have complete faith in him.

Thank you friends for your continuous support and unwavering love and concern. It has been quite a journey. My next road on the path to healing leads to radiation. This should start in about 4-5 weeks. As always, I will keep you posted. Continue to pray for strength and comfort as I smother these last remnants of dead cancer cells.

With deepest love and thanks, Tonia Icenhour and family"

Tonia, I'm so proud of you and am amazed at your strength. We love you.