It's Sad...

...that digital cameras weren't really around yet back in 2001. That I didn't really get into photography until January 2001 when my world crashed (for not only 1 but 2 really BIG life-changing events) and I bought my first "real" camera as a distraction. Because most pictures of my dad are just that. Pictures. No digital files. Not even any negatives (without digging for hours through tons of little plastic negative holders.) So, I'm left with either scanning worn-out photos or taking a digital picture of a photo and trying my best to work some Photoshop magic.

I think of my dad every day. I'm always thinking of how proud of me he'd be. How shocked he'd be that I actually had a child - this amazing little boy that resembles his Grandpa Jeff more and more each day. I think about all the furniture he'd want to make for my new house. I think about how much better my car would run if he could have maintained it all these years for me, rather than the 15-minute jobs I get about every 4 months at Meineke. (No offense, Lenny has treated me pretty well over the years.) I think about how different my world would be if he were still here.

So, Father's Day. It's a very mixed-emotions day for me. On one hand, I'm sad that I can't go to the store and pick out the perfect Father's Day card then search for his 127th tie or popcorn tin or remote caddy or some random "dad" gift he'd cherish forever, then be able to hand it to him and get one of his huge hugs and a wink.

And, on the other hand, I have this amazing father-in-law who loves me. I mean, really loves me. And not just for his son's sake. He treats me like a daughter. He cares about me. He makes sure his son is treating me right. He takes care of my son and loves him (and all of his grandchildren) with everything he's got. It's an honor to honor him on Father's Day.


Then, on the other, other hand, there's the father of my child. My sweet husband, Donnie. He's such a good dad. He does all the things I can't do. He has the energy and child-like mind to play with our son when I've just had enough. He likes to get dirty and touch bugs and swim when I just don't want to. He can handle the full-blown, make-you-want-to-break-something tantrums that send me into a corner crying myself. He loves MD so, so much and it too is an honor to honor him on Father's Day.

So, Happy Father's Day (yesterday) Dad, Dad-in-law (Papa) and Daddy. My life just wouldn't be complete without each of you.