After downloading about 200 pictures from my camera today and seeing that I didn’t post a single word about Donnie’s and my anniversary trip to Gatlinburg a month ago (photo above), I realized I needed a “spill” post. I need you all to know I’m not just MD’s mommy. Don’t get me wrong. That’s my favorite role right now, but I do have a very big and busy life outside of my precious son. So, get ready to read…I need this:• We took our house off the market – yes, it was on the market. We were supposed to buy a house at The Mills in Harrisburg but the community went belly-up and no one wants our house right now. So, we decided to neutralize our kitchen (color: Camel) and install new light fixtures (brushed bronze: very cool.) I also got a shag rug for our living room. Love it. Feels like a new house.
• Not a 24-hour period goes by that I don’t think of and/or dream about my dad. In fact, my dreams are always about him coming back from being gone for a long time. I always know he’s been sick and I’m teaching him how to do things all over again. Like walk, eat, do things around the house. I usually cry when I’m dreaming about him.
• I drive 210+ miles a week to and from work, and that’s only 3 days a week. Gas is killing me. Donnie and I are switching cars but we haven’t done it yet. I think we both, secretly, don’t want to. But, for real, his Impala gets like 10 more miles to the gallon than my sweet Escape. I’m sorry Hunter. We had a good run.
• It took me 7 months to get back to my pre-baby weight. And it took me about 2 months more to lose about 4lbs. more – not on purpose. A lot of my clothes are too big for me now. But, a lot of my shirts are too small for me now. Well, actually they’re too short. I don’t like my clothes anymore but I’m too cheap to buy new ones. Oh, and my C-section scar is barely visible anymore.
• I have so many friends and family that have beautiful kids that I don’t get to see much. Well, I don’t really get to see my friends and family much either. I just don’t have the time (or gas $) and I hate it. About 99% of my time is split between work, my son, laundry, dishes, Wal-Mart trips, constantly straightening up my house and watching Jon & Kate plus 8 after everyone’s been in bed for a while.
• I need Jon & Kate plus 8. For those of you who don’t know, it’s a show on TLC about a family with 2 sets of multiples – twins and sextuplets. It’s mostly about Kate, the mom who stays home with her kids 24/7. I love it. I only have 1 so it makes me feel really good to see someone doing this with 8!
• There’s so many things I want to do but I can’t pull myself away from my son, during the time I’m not at work, to do them. I desperately need a pedicure but I don’t want to get a sitter just for that. I feel selfish. I miss going to movies, but doing that means getting a sitter who will put my son to bed. And something seems to always go wrong when we do that. I also find myself steering away from meals out with my girlfriends, unless I can bring MD - and then I'm usually just tending to him.
• I only wash my hair 2 times a week. It's a very long process and I just don't want to do it that much. So, that's why I wear a lot of pony tails. There's a lot of things I do now, differently, since I've become a mom - but that's actually for a later post.
• I have 4 good friends right now who are pregnant. Three with boys. The other doesn’t know yet! Two of them, this is their 2nd. So, they know everything already. The other 2, this is their first. I want to tell them everything I’ve learned, but I can’t. I don’t want to be “that” kind of person.
• I’m not a money-talker kinda person but I have so many friends and family right now who are struggling with money, us included. Times are tough – especially if you’re self-employed and/or own your own business. Gas is just ridiculous. Prices for essentials have gone up – I mean I’ve watched the price of groceries quickly creep up. It’s affecting the way we all do things. It’s scary. It’s kept us from expanding our living space so our sweet son can have more space to play.
• I don’t tell my husband enough that I love him. I tell my son like 4,982 times a day but I tell my husband about 2 times a day – when he leaves for work and when we go to bed. I’m sorry, Donnie. I do love you (+ 4,980).
• I'm really not sure if I have many readers. I know I have my faithful 3 – Merissa, Gigi and Mel. But, I have no idea who else looks at this. So, really, I guess I just do this for me – and my 3. But, for real, please comment if you do actually read this :)
Ok, I really could go on. But, I’m sure you’ve already stopped reading so I need to stop kidding myself! Now, back to posting about my sweet one – my lucky star.
14 comments:
Ok, so I had to take notes just so I could comment on everything that I wanted to comment on...
I have no idea where you're living right now (which house was on the market...still in Town Center or somewhere else?)
I still think of you and your dad often. Every time I take Evan to the Harrisburg library, we look for his brick. I'm sorry to hear that you have these dreams. I pray peace over your mind and thoughts!
I agree about gas prices...I still remember that year we were living at UT North...the Hess down the road was 88 cents a gallon!
Baby weight is hard to lose. I didn't fully lose mine until about 2 years later.
I love Jon & Kate Plus 8 too! I think she's just the cutest thing (Kate).
I need a pedicure in the worst way and even got a gift certificate to have one for Mother's Day from my in-laws. Now, I just need to ask them to watch Evan so I can use it! And, I'd love to go to the movies for something other than a kids' flick! Maybe we need to plan a reunion with some of the girls and go out for a fun day!
I would like to say that I can't believe you don't wash your hair but twice a week, but somehow, I believe it. I think that may have happened back in college a time or two. (I don't mean that bad, just that you were always able to get away with it!)
I don't tell my husband I love him enough either...thanks for challenging me.
You definitely have another reader...me. I look everyday. I love you and have always valued the friendship that we had, however sporadic it was (not on purpose, just circumstance). I would like to remedy that. We, after all, live in the same town!
And by the way, I loved this post. It was like I just got the Clif Notes update on YOU.
You must be on right now...in response to your message about your hair...
I HAVE to wash mine every day or else it's icky frizzy and all crazy. I'm not sure which part of my routine works, so I'll just tell you all. I wash with Pantene Full & Thick, condition with Pantene Daily Moisturizing. Then, use Pantene Straightening cream and Frizz-Eaze Leave in conditioner. I then blow dry, which combing out the curl. Then, flat iron, section by section. All in all, I spend about 45 minutes on my hair every day. It's ridiculous, but it's the only thing that works for me. I actually told God this very morning that if He'd just given me pretty curls, I'd wear it curly.
So, when are you available to get together? Do you work every day now? It would be fun to invite Kristi...I haven't seen her in almost a year!
that's supposed to be "while" combing out the curl. Sorry.
Courtney
After seeing your blog on Merissa's site, I have started reading your blog once a week or so. I know that I haven't seen you in quite a while. I could comment on each of your posts, but let me just sum it up in this: I am alittle scared myself about the constant price inceases for gas and food, I also only wash my hair a few times a week and I am not a mother yet (I just have dry hair), I am still working off my marriage weight (just b/c we like to eat), we have moved to Maryland and have had a lot of trouble selling our house here (market is just slow) and last thing "Cheryl was a homey girl, who fed her dogs grease, her momma wore the same dress for two straight weeks." :)
I hope that you have a great week. :)
Shauna (Allen)Drye
Shauna, if you happen to look back at this - I sing Cheryl's song about once a week - for whatever reason :) What a great time in life... Ah, that made me laugh. Thanks!
I am not big on leaving comments I guess I am your classic bluker but I do check in on you. BTW if it makes you feel any better we still have a house on the market in CA after almost two years.
I'm glad you know I'm one of the faithful. I miss you tons and wish I could hug ya. I'm glad you shared your heart. Blogs are good for that. I loved reading it. And you know, just for the record, I haven't been posting much us about life on my blog (except for the kids) because it pretty much stinks right now. And a lot of its stinkiness is a hint of just what you wrote above!
- I'm sorry about the house thing. Times are tough all around in the market here, too.
- I can't imagine not having my dad. I almost throw up a the thought. I don't know what to say, C, except I'd probably feel just like you. You know, I've kicked myself for the last almost 6 years for not going down to the hospital to be with you when you called me that dreadful Sept 10. I wish I woulda been there for you. The best thing I know to do know is just remember your dad that day.
- Yep, Patrick drives about the same each week, but at least he gets reimbursed for some of it. Gas smells. (no pun intended)
-You know, it took me 7 months to loose all of Ethan's baby weight, which means I JUST got back to pre-pregno weight. I've got 4 lbs to go to reach Mal's pre-preg weight.
-Wish I could see you too! Miss ya!
- I've never ever seen Jon & Kate
- Wait, you shower? I sometimes go 2 (and once 3) days without even stepping a toe in the shower.
- If I get pregnant again anytime soon, I will cry.
- Money causes lots of stress. Us too.
- "I love you" gets directed to the kids in our house. We need to say it more. Desparately.
Love ya, girlie. Lots and lots.
Hey! I just want to give you a hug right now because I know how frustrating it is to watch all your money go to gas and groceries and to never feel like there is enough time in the day :) You are not alone!!
Add me to your list of faithful readers..I have to get my Courtney and MD fix about once a week and even though we don't get to talk all the time..it still keeps me up-to-date with what's going on in your world.
I am getting bigger by the day..Dr. J. told me to get out and walk around the block..guess 17 lbs in your first 4 months isn't a good thing? (haha)
Take Care, Sweetie,
Sarah:)
Guess we didn't get to fit all that into our talk yesterday! :0
It's good to hear all your thoughts! Ugh- I've been trying to leave a comment for like 30 minutes now and I keep getting interrupted! Arrgh!
I hope I wasn't "that" kind of person when you were pregnant!
And I so wish that I could wash my hair just 2 or 3 times a week!
I'm pretty sure most days I feel like I have 8 kids and I really only have 2!
And tell Sarah congrats from me (you can also tell her how fat I got when I was pregnant- it might make her feel better about just 17 lbs)
I wish I could go to dinner with you and chat- I so loved our beach weekend together!
Courtney, I will never in my lifetime be able to tell or show you how much I thank GOD daily for laying your life in both your Dad and my hands for safe keeping. When HE gave me "you" HIS love for me was so evident. Yes. tears are running down my cheeks as I'm typing this but that's o.k. because they are tears of happiness. I know I've not always done "raising you" the right way (remember "the room") but as I watch you in "awe" I realize your Dad and I did a PRETTY GOOD job because you are who you are. Thank you sooo much for giving me Michael Dean. I know when he was born GOD said JEFF is there anything you would like to add and your Dad just smiled and said "no" YOUR MIRACLE is good enough for my sweet sweet girl. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE W/O YOU. You are the one that taught me hugs and kisses are good. You always had so many for me and your Dad. He will always be in my heart. Please excuse all the rambling as it's becoming extremely emotional but that's o.k. Sometimes that's a good thing, huh?
Luv you, MOM
PS: Your blog is great and I am so glad you found it in your heart to share w/your friends (as well as your Mom) your deepest thoughts, dreams and wishes. :o)
I loved that, Courtney. Thank you for being real and for sharing what's on your mind and heart. I think so many times that's exactly what we need to do. It helps the one who shares and the one who listens (to know that she's not alone in this crazy world). I will pray for you and your family tonight. Blessings to you!
Courtney
That is awesome, those were indeed good times- choir trip around the big state of North Carolina.
:)I am glad to catch up w/ you some. It looks like you have more readers than you thought- look who is popular. :)
Have a great week!!!
Shauna
Ah, you all are too sweet. Thanks so much for sharing. And...
Mel - I had no idea you felt like that about Sept. 10, 2001. I appreciate it, but I also appreciate you. You have always been so faithful to call me on Sept. 10 every year. Thanks for that.
Sarah - Both Merissa and I agree that 17lbs. is no biggie! You grow that baby and don't worry about it. But, walking is nice exercise, though :) Hey, I'd gained about 10lbs. by my FIRST appt. with Dr. J at 8 weeks preggo. You're doing great :)
Merissa - You've never been "that" kind of person. I truly believe God gives you the exact right words to say to me at times. I'm so thankful for that :)
Kayce - Thanks for your prayers. You've got such a kind heart.
And Mom - I appreciate (and always do) your sweet words. It's OK to still get emotional over dad. I should probably do it more often...
Thanks again :)
Hey Courtney,
"Pop-Pop" Fred here....
I just wanted to let you know that I read your blog several times a week, but rarely post comments; sorry, I will try to do better.
And as misery loves company, you are definitely not alone in your observations and thoughts - ALL your family and friends are feeling the pain from all the NEGATIVE things going on in our world today.
I pray daily for you, Donnie, MD and all the rest of our family....and jope that one day soon God will answer my prayers...if not all of them, maybe just the ones for you, Donnie, MD and our family.
I want you to know that a day NEVER goes by that I don't think about YOU, DONNIE, and of course the ever so special and precious, MD.....as you as you are the best "family" a man could ever ask for. And knowing you and your mother as I do, has given me a great perspective as to what your Dad was like, and I am sure that if I would have ever had the great fortune of meeting and getting to know him, we would have been best buddies.
Thank you for opening up your heart and mind to your family and friends....
I love you and will ALWAYS be here for you no matter what!!
"Pop-Pop" Fred
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